CG: SO THIS IS THE FIRST VIDEO POST OF THE BUNCH.

[fuckity]

So, ummmmmm.

[ Cue a teenage boy addressing the network! Well, he's sort of like a teenage boy, if teenage boys were grey and had sharp nails and tiny candy corn horns. There are bags under his eyes like he hasn't slept in about, uh, a decade, and he rubs at one of them in irritation, his lips peeling back into a bit of a snarl. ]

What gives? Exactly? I sign up for one thing and get a-fucking-nother? What the everloving turd is up with that? Oh, hey, guys, Karkat's showed up, let's all change the rules and move everything around and really confuse everyone and shit! Haha! Thank you and fuck you very kindly!

[ He pauses a beat, face still screwed up into something irritated - 'tch', he punctuates everything with a glance off to the side and seems to be thinking hard about something. ]

I'm going to look for apple juice. Because I know some asshole and he never shuts the actual bleeding fuck up about apple juice. If I can find anything on this thing!!

Comments

Spam

[fuckity]

[ ...Well, bro, you got dealt a rough deal; Karkat kind of minorly winces at that one. ] Okay, why- in the everloving shitfuck would they do that.

I think I'll skip crazed animal for some other week. For now- [ He pauses a beat, and then begrudgingly, ] Thanks, I guess. [ Gonna pour himself a glass of this shit for now. ]

Spam

[with_my_teacup]

I paid him to. I had a real pressing need to see in the dark at the time.

[His mouth quirks, tense but not at his visitor. He kicks back, leaning his hip against a counter to watch the verdict.]

Spam

[fuckity]

You paid- [ He huffs out a breath. ] Wow, okay, sympathy gone out the goddamn window. Ever heard of a flashlight, pal?

[ Upon inspection, the liquid appears to be amber and entirely disgusting-looking. Like yellow-blooded piss in a jar. Whatever, Karkat's gingerly picking up the glass and knocking back a hearty sip, and- ]

[ BLUH no wait it's actually pretty damn tasty. ] The fuck have I been missing out on?

Spam

[with_my_teacup]

Yeah, but now I can see the IR spectrum and levels of light not even a lot of animals can. It's fucking fantastic, wouldn't trade it for the world.

[You get a goggle-tap salute, sweary new bargian.]

...so where are you from that fruit juice isn't a thing.

Spam

[fuckity]

Really. [ He sounds fairly impressed. ] Okay, but you still can't see colors. The entire world looks like an angsty adolescent's photography collection, and that is gross.

[ A small, bit of a wistful sigh. ] I don't suppose you've ever heard of Alternia?

Spam

[with_my_teacup]

I don't see the colors I used to. Now I see heat blooms, chills, UV sources, hidden things. Nah, it's good.

[Frown, head tip.]

Not a planet I ever ran into.

Spam

[fuckity]

...Okay, fuck, that is pretty cool. [ Dammit. ] "Hidden things," do you have, like, freaking x-ray vision?

As expected. Well, it's a fucking smoke-encrusted rock slab now, so I guess you missed out on your chance. Sorry, bro.

Spam

[with_my_teacup]

Nah, nothing like that. Just there's some minerals, some plants that have patterns I couldn't ever see before. They pick up different kinds of light.

Not that I get to see a lot of that around here. [He waves at the mostly metal surroundings.]

Yeah, planet where I was born is kind of a bombed out shithole, too. Cheers. More juice?

Spam

[fuckity]

[ He shrugs a shoulder, gesturing to Riddick with a clawed hand. ] And now there's resorting to the different threading patterns on tiny steel screws, so congratulations on that one. At least you're not really fuckin' missing out on any colors here.

It- yeah. [ He touches a hand to the jug of juice - this stuff really isn't half bad - as he looks up at Riddick with a bit of surprise on his face. His eyes narrow before he takes any more of the juice, morbidly curious. ] What happened to yours?

Spam

[with_my_teacup]

Furya? Some soldier in the local death cult got shitty about some prophecy about a Furyan killing him and wasted the planet. That was years ago, now. Thirtysomeodd. I wasn't exactly old enough to remember much. [He makes a shape with his hands, like he's holding a bundle about a foot long.]

What happened with yours?

Spam

[fuckity]

Jesus, when you were just a wriggler. [ His hands plant on his hips thoughtfully before he speaks up again. ] Some asshole kids played a game that ended up raining meteors down on the whole planet, the place got fucking wrecked.

I guess I kind of initiated it.

Spam

[with_my_teacup]

... Interesting game.

Spam

[fuckity]

"Interesting," more like "get fucked!" Tell me, if you win a game and you're promised, like, the grand primo prize at the end of it, you should fucking GET it, right?

Spam

[with_my_teacup]

That depends on if the rules of the game involve my planet blowing up, because then I might not actually want to play.

Spam

[fuckity]

Like we knew it at the time!

[ He angrily takes a swig, somehow even managing to make the act of drinking apple juice bitter, like he's knocking back a shot or something. ]

Even if it's kind of a shitty planet to start out with?

Spam

[with_my_teacup]

...yeah, probably even if it was a shitty planet.

[His lips go a little thin for a second, remembering the city-leveler bombs he'd seen on Helion Prime, but he shrugs it off.]

What was the prize?

Spam

[fuckity]

Yeah, all right. Me too.

[ Karkat goes unnaturally quiet for a moment, his nails tapping antsily against the sides of the glass. ]

A whole new world. Repopulation and what the fuck ever. We made it but, yeah, that worked out poorly.

Spam

[with_my_teacup]

...in the population of your old planet going belly up? Or what?

Spam

[fuckity]

What? Well, yeah, that too, but some other shit went down too, with the whole -

Why the fuck am I telling you about this anyway?

Spam

[with_my_teacup]

'Cause I showed you mine first.

Also I bribed you with juice.

Spam

[fuckity]

...Fair.

[ And the juice is pretty good, goddammit. ]

Fine, look. Some human mongoloids - who I guess I've since forgiven - fucked up their own game session and consequentially their boss, blah blah, he crossed into our session, and we had to go fucking hiding with our tails between our legs. There.

Spam

[with_my_teacup]

You live a strange life.

Spam

[fuckity]

Thank you. I think.

Re: Spam

[with_my_teacup]

Well, welcome aboard. It's not actually that much less strange here.

Spam

[fuckity]

Oh yeah? I'd like to see this place surprise me. Actually, I tripley dare it to do so.