CG: SO THIS IS THE FIRST VIDEO POST OF THE BUNCH.

[fuckity]

So, ummmmmm.

[ Cue a teenage boy addressing the network! Well, he's sort of like a teenage boy, if teenage boys were grey and had sharp nails and tiny candy corn horns. There are bags under his eyes like he hasn't slept in about, uh, a decade, and he rubs at one of them in irritation, his lips peeling back into a bit of a snarl. ]

What gives? Exactly? I sign up for one thing and get a-fucking-nother? What the everloving turd is up with that? Oh, hey, guys, Karkat's showed up, let's all change the rules and move everything around and really confuse everyone and shit! Haha! Thank you and fuck you very kindly!

[ He pauses a beat, face still screwed up into something irritated - 'tch', he punctuates everything with a glance off to the side and seems to be thinking hard about something. ]

I'm going to look for apple juice. Because I know some asshole and he never shuts the actual bleeding fuck up about apple juice. If I can find anything on this thing!!

Comments

[fuckity]

Yeah, grubs! You know what, I am! It's fucking hard being a wriggler; I'm almost glad nobody else has to go through with it, you shitfuck!

[mistconduct]

Go back to your mudpit, dirt-wriggler.

[fuckity]

Here, let me go do that- OH WAIT, it's fucking gone and I'm stuck here on this barge of poop and assholes.

Is this supposed to convince me inmates aren't all shitheads or what?

[mistconduct]

I can't remember what I was supposed to convince you. I got distracted when you called yourself a troll bug.

[fuckity]

Bug -

[ And Karkat lets out a string of sounds that sounds vaguely like "adjnkfkls;fj." ]

Do you have a Warden? How do they even function without puddles of projectile vomit shooting from the orifices that they own? How?

[mistconduct]

You're hysterical.

I have a warden, yeah. He's missing, so let me know if you see the stupid asshole.

[fuckity]

Yeah, here, I'll get right on naming this mysterious nameless and faceless person I've never fucking met in my life.

He's probably hiding from your stupid face.

[mistconduct]

Funny you say faceless...

Well, fuck you too, dickhead.

[fuckity]

You're welcome, buddy!!

Faceless, why is that funny.

[mistconduct]

Because he doesn't usually have a face.

[fuckity]

Okay, except everybody has a face, how does he not- It's a face.

[mistconduct]

He wears a mask that doesn't have a face.

[fuckity]

But it's- a mask. So I'm kind of assuming there's still a face underneath it.

[mistconduct]

Don't tell him that.

[fuckity]

What, is he really stupidly ugly or something like that?

[mistconduct]

Kind of, yeah. He's ginger.

[fuckity]

...Like he's made of it or -

[mistconduct]

...God damn, you're fucking dumb.

No. No, you fucking dumbass. He's got red hair, he smells, he's kind of ugly, he's short...But at least you can pick him out in a crowd.

[fuckity]

Hey, hey! Alien! Remember!

Well, duh, if he wears a fucking mask. --Smells like what, exactly.

[mistconduct]

Sewers and body odor. He doesn't shower much.

[fuckity]

Ew. Give that guy a bar of fucking soap.

[mistconduct]

Like he would know what it's for.

[fuckity]

Then shove it down his freaking throat until he gets the memo!

[mistconduct]

You have not met my warden. But I dare you to do that when you see him.

[fuckity]

Get me a bar of soap and maybe I will!