Hahaha! [ It's less a laugh, more of a shitty pronunciation of each 'ha' in Chris' direction to emphasize his point. ] You fucking wish.

Nun, what is a nun even. [ Or a 'cunt' for that matter, but he's going to assume it's a flavor of waffle and not understand why this is a particular insult. ] I could graduate one with my eyes closed, I bet you goddamn boonbucks on that one.