CG: SO THIS IS THE FIRST VIDEO POST OF THE BUNCH.

[fuckity]

So, ummmmmm.

[ Cue a teenage boy addressing the network! Well, he's sort of like a teenage boy, if teenage boys were grey and had sharp nails and tiny candy corn horns. There are bags under his eyes like he hasn't slept in about, uh, a decade, and he rubs at one of them in irritation, his lips peeling back into a bit of a snarl. ]

What gives? Exactly? I sign up for one thing and get a-fucking-nother? What the everloving turd is up with that? Oh, hey, guys, Karkat's showed up, let's all change the rules and move everything around and really confuse everyone and shit! Haha! Thank you and fuck you very kindly!

[ He pauses a beat, face still screwed up into something irritated - 'tch', he punctuates everything with a glance off to the side and seems to be thinking hard about something. ]

I'm going to look for apple juice. Because I know some asshole and he never shuts the actual bleeding fuck up about apple juice. If I can find anything on this thing!!

Comments

video

[espanola]

But now you're prepared.

[ . . . He doesn't know what a strife specibus is THIS SUCKS but he refuses to ask.]

A weapon is a weapon. It's not elegant, though, you're right.

[fuckity]

Please, I wasn't a squirmy little pink blob of fat!

Trolls are grubs.

[ Somehow this is superior to him, he looks fairly proud. ]

[mistconduct]

[Sorry, Karkat. Chris just starts laughing]

video

[fuckity]

Now I'm jaded. There's a difference.

[ He's wrinkling his nose now, just imagining this sight before him and it's not pretty. ] Not elegant? What the fuck are you going to do, throw a glassful at someone and flay them alive? It's illogical.

[fuckity]

Wh-

[ WHY IS THIS FUNNY ] Oh, fuck off, buddy! You wouldn't know cultural sensitivities if they crawled up your asshole and set up fucking camp!!

[mistconduct]

Seriously? You're seriously going to get pissed at me for not being culturally sensitive.

On the fucking Barge.

Grubs. Wow.

video;

[fuckity]

But none of them seemed to have stuck- [ Wait, did she say. ] Beach vacation?

Yeah? Shit luck with inmates or are you just not very good at it?

[fuckity]

Yeah, grubs! You know what, I am! It's fucking hard being a wriggler; I'm almost glad nobody else has to go through with it, you shitfuck!

[mistconduct]

Go back to your mudpit, dirt-wriggler.

[fuckity]

Here, let me go do that- OH WAIT, it's fucking gone and I'm stuck here on this barge of poop and assholes.

Is this supposed to convince me inmates aren't all shitheads or what?

[mistconduct]

I can't remember what I was supposed to convince you. I got distracted when you called yourself a troll bug.

Spam

[with_my_teacup]

...yeah, probably even if it was a shitty planet.

[His lips go a little thin for a second, remembering the city-leveler bombs he'd seen on Helion Prime, but he shrugs it off.]

What was the prize?

video;

[ichoosefight]

Yup. One of the wardens took over the wheel and took us to a resort planet. [ IT WAS GREAT. ]

Bad luck, mostly.

[fuckity]

Bug -

[ And Karkat lets out a string of sounds that sounds vaguely like "adjnkfkls;fj." ]

Do you have a Warden? How do they even function without puddles of projectile vomit shooting from the orifices that they own? How?

video;

[fuckity]

Bets on when the next time that happens is?

Sounds pretty fucking frustrating. How the hell do you move past that?

video;

[ichoosefight]

I never make bets around here. Stuff's too random.

Years of experience with failure.

Spam

[fuckity]

Yeah, all right. Me too.

[ Karkat goes unnaturally quiet for a moment, his nails tapping antsily against the sides of the glass. ]

A whole new world. Repopulation and what the fuck ever. We made it but, yeah, that worked out poorly.

Spam

[with_my_teacup]

...in the population of your old planet going belly up? Or what?

[mistconduct]

You're hysterical.

I have a warden, yeah. He's missing, so let me know if you see the stupid asshole.

video

[espanola]

Then you're not prepared?

Apple juice is already fairly acidic, you could always adjust it. [He is seriously considering this.]

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[hellofist]

[Hey. That's rude, don't get all grin-ful cause she's confused.]

Might backfire, so... be careful, if you do. And... lots of strange stuff happens, so... probably best, to get used to... not having all answers.

video

[fuckity]

[ Karkat lets out a scoff of laughter. ] It doesn't matter how you feel, that doesn't mean barrels of hoofbeast shit stops getting thrown at you.

Whoa, what the fuck? How acidic? Visceral melting? [ STRIDERRRRRR. ]

video;

[fuckity]

Good. Bets are for poopy wrigglers and adults with fucking problems.

Well, at least you're honest about it.

video

[espanola]

But you've won so far? [Just trying to decide if you're a hero and he should be annoyed by you don't mind him.]

Not unmodified, no. Not usually.

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[fuckity]

Oh, yeah, the motherfucking jackpot. [ A bit of a frown goes here. ] I mean, I'm still fucking breathing, so I guess that really depends on your definition.

Hmm. [ okay cool he can relax a little, he has not been punk'd on this day ] As if getting covered in some shitty beverage isn't punishment enough, you want to make it face-searing too?